Co-regulation is the assistance provided by one person to soothe another person’s emotional distress and guide them back to regulation. It’s like when a calm and collected teacher helps a student cool off when they’re angry. The teacher’s soothing presence and comforting actions help the student feel calm, safe, and secure.
Here’s a fun fact about how it works: Mirror neurons are special brain cells that help us understand and imitate the emotions and actions of others. They play a role in empathy and can contribute to co-regulation by allowing us to “mirror” or connect with the emotions of those around us.
Co-regulation is the assistance provided by a caregiver to soothe a child’s emotional distress and guide them back to regulation.
A dysregulated adult can never regulate a dysregulated child.
The diagram above illustrates what co-regulation looks like. The caregiver’s cool and collected state helps calm the dysregulated child.
This concept includes both emotional regulation skills and executive function skills. These components of self-regulation work together and have been shown to predict school readiness and academic performance.
Another interesting regulation fact is that a young child’s prefrontal cortex (a.k.a. Wise Owl and the part of the brain responsible for impulse control, decision-making, and emotional regulation) is not fully developed. This makes it extremely challenging for children to regulate their emotions and behaviors independently and explains why they need adults to model self-regulation for them.
Because most children lack a sturdy prefrontal cortex, a regulated adult can “lend” a dysregulated child their regulated prefrontal cortex by connecting with the child, modeling regulation, helping the child breathe, and gather themselves.
